5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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