My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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