Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Be still, my beating vagina.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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