I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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