I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.