i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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