is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
