I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I smell like Dick and happiness
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
