This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
