i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
