I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
