Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
