According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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