You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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