When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
