don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
