did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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