after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
