But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
