Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
