so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
