i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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