Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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