oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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