Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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