After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
