I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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