Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
