i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
