Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
