just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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