she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
