dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
