Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
