Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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