My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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