How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
