grandma shit on top of the toilet
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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