R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
