are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
