We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize