the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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