Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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