I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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