Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize