so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize