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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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