You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Less talking, more tequila
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
