operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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