Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
