then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
