I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
