if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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