yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
