Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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