3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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