You're completely useless in the revolution.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
