I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
