youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize