laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize