Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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