We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
