I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
