You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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