I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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