I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
